High School Drama!
Posted by KING OF NIGERIA | 21 Feb, 2009Apparently, a freshman from my school opened up a "Burn Book" on Myspace, inspired by the movie, Mean Girls. A few of my friends(and they exist), at school, were talking about it, so I decided to look around for it. ...And I found it! Unfortunately, the entries weren't written in intelligible English. Fortunately, I'm fluent in 27 dialects of retard and, in my grace, have translated the contents of the "burn book" for your leisure(the pictures were withheld):
DAT PUTA SiN BARR0 Up DERE, HER NAME iS eeLANA EVERyB0Dy BE SAyiN QUE ESTA UN CHOLA y SHiT BUT HELL NAH! DAT PUTA AiNT SHiT! DAT's WHy DEy KALL HER CHOLA #2! LMFA0! KUz SHE AiNT DEE #1! FUK DAt PUTA UP DERE!
Translation: This whore is named Eelana. Everybody calls her the #1 gangster, but in reality, she isn't! Therefore, we address her as the number #2 gangster, because she can't possibly be #1! I'd advise all others to assault her whenever possible.
THAT GiRL UP DERE, SE LLAMA JENiFER. i HARDLEy KNOW HER, PERO ES PENDEJA! SHE iS UGLY! FAT! y SHE CHASES GUyS! CAUSE DA NONE 0F DEM CHASE HER! SE MiRA MUyy CHUNTi!
Translation: This girl is named Jenifer(sic). I don't know who she is, but she's stupid, ugly, and fat. She also, at various points in time, desperately pursues romantic relations with other males, because they're unwilling to initiate contact with her! She's also very gaudy!
00H SHiT! D0NT EBEN GET MEH STARTED 0N DAT GiRL! SHEs BUTT UGLy! SHE HAS BLAk LiPS! WTf! BLAk! LMA0!! iTs SiCK, ALWAyS SEEN HER iN SKEWL WiD HER GUy. TRUST MEH, THATS SiCK! L0L, i W0NDER WuT HE BE THiNKn..TOUCHiN 0N HER FATnESS! i CANT BELiVE SHE RELATED TeW LAURA! KUZ LAURA iS FiNE COMPARED TEw HER SiSTAh!
Translation: Don't even get me started on this girl! She's very ugly and has black lips, which I find aesthetically displeasing. She's always in school with her boyfriend to the point that it's disgusting! One can only wonder why he'd touch someone so portly! It's also unbelievable that she's Laura's sister, whose beauty outperforms her's in several ways!
L00K AT DAT HOE STEPHANiE G! TAKiN PiCS WiD HER UNDAWEAR! WuT A W0RE! SHE iS UGLy, FAT, CHUNTi, AND i HAVE NOTHiNG TO SAy BUT DAT i REALLy DONT LyK HER! 0NE THiNG i DO KN0, DAT SHE iS EASy!
Translation: Look at that whore, Stephanie G! She takes pictures in her underwear, a very whore-like trait! She's very unattractive, obese, and brazen! I'm not quite sure what else to say about her, except that I extremely dislike her! One confirmed fact, though, is that she is easily approachable, sexually!
0kAy, WELL DAT CHiCK, i GOT L0T TEw SAy.! ARiEL, SHE MA FRiEND BUT DAT D0NT GOT TEw MEAN i LyK HER :] SHE AiNT WHO YALL THiNK SHE iS! YUP, AM SAyiNG iT ND NOT GiViNG A FUK CUZ i DONT LyK HER!!!!!! y0U THiNK SHE STRAiGHT? THiNK AGAiN!! SHE AiNT! SHE Bi! SHE ALWAyS CHECKiN GuRLS OUT, GUyS TEw! BUtt SHE FOOLiN EVERy0NE! SHE'S FUKiN WEiRD! FRUiTY ASS BiOTCH! DA FUNNy THiNG B0UT HER iS DAT SHE S00 iN LOVE WiD HER GUy ND WOULD EVEN FUK HiM ND HE D0NT EVEN LYK HER, HiS NAME iS iSAC. 0H, ND SHE CHEATiN 0N HiM WiD DiS CHiK 4RM SANTEE! SHEs A HOE! ALWAyS OVA ALL DEE GUyS iN SKEWL HER "FRiENDS?" LMFA0! N0B0DY KNOWS HER DA WAy i DO!!!!FUK HER!!
Translation: I have a lot to say about this woman! She's Ariel, my friend, but friendship doesn't require cordiality! She isn't the person who she claims to be, and I'm saying this because I, as implied above, am not cordial with her! Many people hold the misconception that she's a heterosexual when, in truth, she's bisexual. She constantly looks out for potential female mates, along with males. She's putting on a front; she's an unusual little whore! I find it hilarious that she pretends to be madly in love with her boyfriend, Isac(sic), and would even perform sexual intercourse with him, yet he's completely indifferent to her. On top of that, she's having an affair with another female, from another school, Santee. She's a whore and flirts with her male "friends". Ignore her, as none of you understands her folly as well as I do!
ok well thiz lil bitch rite here iz a wanna b she thinkz she so fuken beautiful but shez not.well ok she lykz diz one boy named erik but he dosent lyk her.she even let herself get touched only a real hoe would do that if you want da definition for a hoe just look at yaneth and youll koe straight out.
Translation: This fine young lady, here, Yaneth, is a phony and is very conceited when it comes to her non-existent beauty. She's attracted to a boy, named Erik(sic), but the love is completely one-sided. She'd even allow others upon herself, something that only a prostitute would do. If you ever forget what a prostitute is like, simply refer to her, as she epitomizes them.
THESE FOO M1GUEL, THINK HE DA SHET! HE BE CALL1NG H1MSELF A R1CH BOY JUSS BECAUSE HE GETS WATVR HE WANTS. HE TREATS H1S MOTHER L1KE SHET!HE DONT KNO HOW 2 RESPECT H1SS PARENTS!HE BE TH1NKN EVER G1RL L1KES H1M W1N REALY KNO G1RL L1KES HIM! 1M T1RED OF H1S BOS1 TALL ASS!
Translation: Miguel, here, is a charlaton! He claims to have amassed great riches, but only because his parents spoil him. Despite this, he constantly abuses his parents and shows great disdain towards them! He's very confident in his belief that masses of women have come to love him, but it's an unfounded confidence, as no woman loves him! I'm quite disgusted by him!
Enjoy! Seriously, this shit was hard as hell to translate. I tried to keep my vocabulary as varied as possible, but it was kinda hard, because, apparently, everyone is "fat" or a "hoe". Also, I may or may not be attending a dominantly-Latino school.
Update: I removed the burn book from my friends list on Myspace, so they don't find out who I am, since I used my main account. I'm preparing a few sock puppets/faux accounts so I can do it again, though.
Update(3/31): Made some changes to the post that I didn't like. I also won't be doing anymore of these, as the account was deleted due to TOS violations.
